That's my good friend T. That's him, right there, hiding behind my hand. I subtly camouflaged his identity for fear of retribution. But take my word for it, it's REALLY subtle. So T. tells me he's been, on occasions, called a "gender-bender", on account of his rather androgynous features and thin, Don-Diego-De-La-Vega-like moustache. Gender bender? Really??That little head of mine starts processing. If he's a guy (or so I've been told), and has a moustache (he must be getting double male points for it), why does his being slightly built induce gender bending ? Seriously, do we need anymore labels? I'm sick of hearing names like butch, femme, metro-sexual or guinea pig being thrown around, like flying saucers in a galactic war. I don't understand the need for labelling people and I certainly don't recognize myself in any of them fancy names.
Not "stone cold butch", like this one :
What... Tattoos, piercing, smokes, key chain. Butch ! Anyways.Also very much not "pillow queen" like her...
And certainly not looking "very-Shane-today" !
None of the above. So what am I? What does that make me huh? Think. Moustache. Click. No moustache. Click. More brain processing. Wait. What? Eureka ! I can't file my own bad self right now, but let me force gender and sexuality labels (and sticky ones too) into an equation for you (what? Yes, I like maths...). Here it goes :moustache = guy
no moustache = girl
so
boy - moustache = sissy
and
girl + moustache = hairy dyke
But here's the best part. If you add the 2 together, you get:
guy + girl = moustache + no moustache
so if I count correctly:
guy + girl = 0
Incredible. Amazing, I know! I have just demonstrated, in a most scientific manner, the universal paradigm that guy + girl = 0 !
In other words: straight = zero,
In other words: not straight = not zero
In other words: be gay, suckers !
Sorry. That's what labels do to me. Screw you, labels.
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