Go to sleep a little wiser - Lez' scientifacts

Welcome readers, to yet another educationnal subject, because, in case you didn't know, I'm a complete dork. (Does that make me a lesbian Clark Kent ? We'll adress this topic another time.) Today, I would like to share newly acquired wisdom on how women's body work (my personal holy cup, my cookie jar, my motherland ...*wink*).

While I have almost recovered from my bed-related acrobatics, I still get to visit my gigantic homo physiotherapist daily. Today, as if walking around single-shouldered wasn't enough, I showed up with a really really unpleasant painful pain in my left knee (the right one is fine, thank you). So, willing to discover the mysterious cause for said pain, my faggy-physio (try saying that 20 times in a row...) set about reading my body. Yuuhuuh. Reading. He grabbed both my ankles (no cuffs involved, pervs, not this time), closed his eyes and, I guess, started turning the pages of me. That means getting vibrations or whatnots from the various layers of me (I'm an onion).

And out of the blue, he asked me if it was my time of the month. From my ankles? Really ? Unflinching, I answered, why, yes, it is the 22nd of October today ! Mister Physio then explained me how my uterus was talking to him ...(I'm sending him my next GF for crash training). But since an active vajayjay is normal for me (yes it is, zip it), he proceeded to further investigate my lower stata. And found out that I had some recalcitrant muscle somewhere below that needed fixing.

Then, and that's where it gets interesting, he told that women's hormonal activity had a tremendous influence on the entire body. Duh. Ever heard of PMS? But no. He meant more than just irrational, M.Hyde-like behaviors. Actually, all those hormones (things that end in -gen or -one, like oestrogen, progesterone, mascarpone..) partying while you're suffering and bleeding and being a giant paint in the butt, well, hormones render ligaments, sinew and other fibrous tissues looser than usual. Which could explain why you can get random sprains or twists at that time of the month. Yep. There. You're smarter now.

So next time, instead of mentally applying a fist impact right between your annoying colleague's little sweaty porcine eyes, tell him/her that he/she is lucky you can't smack him/her right now, because it would cause you to sprain your knuckles. And you need those. Then, carelessly add you also don't want to hurt your eyes by looking at him/her and walk away. Optic nerves are a fibrous tissue after all...

NOTE: I bet I'd use "fibrous tissue" on my blog. I won.